Ed’s Ripple
On this Memorial Day, I thought it would be appropriate to remember Ed Keep-Barnes. He wasn’t in the military and I know that Memorial Day is reserved for those who came before us in military service, but his father was in the army and both his parents were tragically killed in a car accident leaving five children to be raised. But this is not why I keep thinking about Ed or why I want to honor him today. I simply want to honor him because of his ripple effect.
When you are fortunate to work in a small community, you eventually get to see how lives are changed by amazing people. Ed was a great man. He was not loud or egocentric. He was a kind, quiet man. His voice was soft and he couldn’t really yell. Maybe it was all those years talking in front of third and fourth graders or the hours he spent singing on his banjo that made his voice soft. His voice was quiet, but he could tell a story and had great impact on those who heard it.
During the years that I taught with him, lunch time was special because Ed would be telling tales of adventure. Mondays were particularly great because Ed had had the weekend to get into some trouble. The stories about how he got out of the trouble were what made me rush into the teacher’s lounge hoping he had not started before I got to hear it all. The laughter would roll down the hall and fill the school while children were outside at recess.
Ed would tell tales of being dragged by his dog team or left somewhere on a trail while the team went across the highway headed for home without him. Or times when a moose would be smack dab in the middle of the trail which is every musher’s nightmare.
There were other stories too. Stories of helping others from his volunteerism with Salcha Rescue. There were stories of canoeing trips with his son Eli, and soccer games with Jai.
I never got tired of listening to Ed tell his stories and I would sometimes ask him to tell me a particular story again, even though I had heard it many times. There were a couple of these stories. They were about picking up a dead horse or mule to feed his sled dogs. He could tell this in such a humorous way that would make it funny to be driving down the highway with stiff equine legs sticking up out of the back of his purple Nisan truck. He joked because he said that one hundred years from now, someone would be digging up around his house and find the leg bones of these beasts and wonder what went on here for so many animals to have died. The truth of using meat like this is that it is practical. If a horse topples over from old age or must be put down because of injury, this makes dog mushing slightly less expensive. Alaskans are always trying to help their neighbors.
On Memorial Day, why remember Ed? It is because he has changed people’s lives. He is gone from this earth, but his ripple is carrying on. Just last weekend a former foster boy of Ed’s was honored with his GED. It was Ed who encouraged him to finish because Ed knew this boy’s future would be brighter with that certificate. And the boy obliged and even said at the celebration that Ed’s wife Annie threw for him that he did it for Ed. Another ripple from Ed carrying on.
There are more ripples out there. Some I do not know but some I am part of.
I think of Ed often. I even still cry when I dig deep in the memories of this great man. It is almost a year since his passing, but others are still grieving his loss because he was a great man. I was just talking with someone about the loss of another of our friends and she said that in America we do grief wrong. We think we should cry for a week and carry on. I do not think so. I remember when I lost my mother in law. The sound of grief coming out of my body was new. I did not know I could cry like that. The loss of the people we love I am convinced will last the rest of our years. And in a way, it should. We should pause and remember. We should think of all the stories, laughter, sorrow, and greatness. We should carry a piece, or pieces of that person with us to help build our ripples.
When I look back at the last few years, I am grateful and sometimes in awe of the time we got to share with Ed. I did not know those hours having gin and tonic would be the last time we would share a time without knowing Ed had cancer. I did not know the hug I gave Ed while bringing my class to his yard for a s’more and telling him I loved him would be one of the last times I got to say that to him. But I hold that memory so tightly in my heart because I did love him. One of Ed’s ripples for me is that he replied,
“I love you too, Ronda. I have from the first time I saw you.” He didn’t have to say that to me, and he may not have known how much that meant to me, but I am grateful I got to be a part of Ed’s love.
This past year, I have often thought about Ed in ways that make me wonder, “What would Ed do?”. Sometimes this question would change the outlook or path that I am on. Sometimes I would dig deeper and try to do a better job. Not for me, but to honor Ed.
I woke up this morning playing the chorus “Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side. Keep on the sunny side of life.” This was Ed’s song. He sang it almost daily to his students at the end of the day. He’d pull out his banjo and sing as the kids packed up to go home. Ed would want us all to keep looking forward with grace and happiness. He always said something to the kids as he put them on the bus, “Come back when you can’t stay as long.” This was his humor and the third and fourth graders loved him for it.
I challenge you and me to make a ripple. Do something kind and honorable to those around you. Do not choose something that is always easy but when the tough times come, do not give up on kids. Think of another way to meet the challenge. That is what Ed did. His ripples continue today in this world and I am grateful for it.
